The 17 Signs of Falling in Love That Make It Real
When you think about falling hard and fast for someone, you're probably thinking it's going to be due to some grand romantic gesture (like a Big and Carrie moment in Paris). But the truth of the matter is that it's often the little everyday things that are actually the signs of falling in love. And if you're still waiting around for everything to go slow motion and for your favourite Ed Sheeran song to start playing as the soundtrack to your life, then you should probably think again.
In fact, scientists have determined that falling in love is a real thing and your brain goes into a specific state when you're newly in love. This means that scans of your brain look significantly different from those when you're not in love or when you're with a long-term partner. But since we're not going out getting brain scans to double-check if we're falling for someone (or not), there are some surefire signs of falling in love that we can keep an eye out for. Keep reading to see the top 17 indicators below, backed by science and relationship experts.
You're trying unexpected hobbies you never thought you would. Including buying odd gear to go with said activity since the person you're dating likes to do it. In fact, one study even found that people in relationships who try new hobbies together help keep the spark alive long after the honeymoon phase is over.
You're singing along to every love song on your Spotify playlist. Even the artists you don't usually like. This is because falling in love causes feel-good chemicals to put you in a happy state of mind (meaning there's no longer a need for sad songs).
It doesn't hurt as much when you get hurt. Yes, you read that right. Studies have shown that even looking at a photo of someone you love can reduce moderate pain by a whopping 40%.
You're attracted to their quirks. You can especially tell this if habits normally bother you, but with your partner, you actually find them kind of endearing. Research has found that because we all have different preferences, someone's little quirks can actually make us fall deeper in love with them (a weird phenomenon, we know).
You're worried about their happiness more than yours. When you can place their feelings first, that's how you know it's true love. Compassionate love, a type of love in which you are capable of empathising with your partner, is getting a lot of buzz recently because experts say it's a sign of a healthy long-term relationship.
You care what their friends think about you. (And their family even more so.) This isn't in a selfish way but because you want everyone to genuinely like you and get along. "By making the effort to become friendly with your S.O.’s friends, you are showing your S.O. how much you care about them," says relationship etiquette expert Mara Opperman.
You can't stop thinking about them. And the next time you're going to see them and what you're going to do and say. When you fall for someone, it's beyond your control: your brain releases a chemical called phenylethylamine which has been dubbed the “love drug."
Your ex has been forgotten. But to the point where you actually don't care, and if you saw said person, you'd say hello and genuinely hope they're doing well. After all, you've moved on for real and you're done thinking about a fantasy because you're living an even better reality.
Sometimes your heart skips a beat. And it's possible that you even get a little flustered because scientifically speaking, your heart begins to speed up when you're around someone you love. (It's an effect due to your hormones.)
Their scent is actually intoxicating. Once you've fallen for someone, experts say that scent can be an important part of your attraction. It's the reason why you like the way your sheets smell when they get up in the morning or you want to wear their old T-shirt to bed.
You're not as hungry. Maybe it's because your stomach is filled with butterflies. Research on eHarmony has found that losing your appetite can be one of the first signs of falling in love.
The future comes up a lot without your realising it. Like that wedding six months down the road and where you'll spend the holidays. It means you want to be together long-term. Many people have a fear of discussing the future, so the fact that you've already gotten over that pesky hurdle means love is in the air.
It's just plain easy. As in you don't have to overthink everything like you normally have in past relationships. When you're with that person, you can just "be."
You talk about them all the time. To the point where it can get a little annoying to family and friends—but it's endearing so you get a pass (it's all because of all those feel-good hormones in your brain we discussed earlier). Just maybe take stock of how many times you mention your S.O.'s name in conversation.
You crave being connected. We're not saying you need to be attached at the hip, but you want to know where your person is and how their day is going. Serena Goldstein, a naturopathic doctor in New York City, says being separated from your partner even for a short time is kind of like coming down from a high. This may be why you feel such an urge to keep in touch.
You miss them even if they're just going to their place. When you're falling for someone, you want to be around them all the time. Writer Monica Adams perhaps best sums it up when she writes: "Saying 'I love you' to someone can be easy... if you miss someone, it’s an emotion that you feel in your soul."
They're the first person you call with news—whether it's good, bad, or otherwise. One of the signs you're falling in love with someone is when they become the person you rely on through thick and thin. Enough said.
Now that you can recognising the signs of falling in love, you'll never be stumped about your feelings again.