How Motherhood Has Changed These Three Familiar Faces

Nicole Singh

As women start to find true liberation in all spheres of life, whether it is in a C-suite boardroom, or making waves in the tech industry, one role that perhaps goes most underappreciated is that of a mum. Sure, Mother’s Day comes around once a year, and there are birthdays too, but if there’s anything that teaches you patience, kindness, and selflessness it’s becoming a parent—or, so I’ve heard. In celebration of Lumira’s latest collaboration with Nicole Trunfio, the Vow (a perfect gift for Mother’s day next week) I spoke to three mothers for their take on self love, the evolving nature of parenting, and the one thing they wish they knew before becoming a mum.

Whether it's learning to accept chaos, or embracing the good times along with the not so goo, read on for the beautiful responses, and shop the latest Lumira collaboration below.

Kelly Müller, Mum to Sunny.

How has the meaning of motherhood changed for you, since you’ve become one?

Motherhood is an experience that you can only truly understand once you're a mum. I know how patronising that sounds, and I used to hate when friends said it to me. The love and adoration a mother and child share is obvious, right? But then you have children of your own. It's a level of love, protection and responsibility that is unimaginable until you are living it. My main priority these days is giving my daughter the tools she needs to be a strong, independent, kind, loved and loving human. That takes a level of selflessness I never knew before. 

What’s one thing you wish other mums told you before becoming one yourself?

Given you get a lot of advice from the moment you announce that you’re pregnant, I don't know I would have wished for any more! However, if I could pass on just one little nugget, I would share what my mother-in-law told me during the depths of our sleep deprivation: Know that everything is temporary, the good and the bad. The bad will pass and the good won't last forever, so soak up every single feeling, emotion and memory. Before you know it, your child is two-and-a-half and telling you that she “doesn’t want you” because she “likes her Papa”. It really does go so fast and what was a struggle will fast become a point in time that you’ll likely want back.

Self-love can feel like a general term, what are some ways that you practically outwork it in your busy schedule?

Self-love to me isn't about getting a facial or my nails done (though neither of those happen as often as I'd like), it is simply about being comfortable with who you are. I am very proud of who I am, the life I’ve lived and the lessons I’ve learned along the way, but when I stopped to reflect on this question, I realised there are three key acts of self-love that are constants in my day to day:

Community: Surrounding myself with people who build me up, support me and encourage me no matter what. Once I became a mum, I realised that there was no time for negativity or drama so having uplifting and motivating people around me makes such a big difference.

Respect: That whole ‘my body is a temple’ thing? It’s true. When you become a mum you understand why more than ever. Working out will make you feel good. Eating well will fuel you. And self-acceptance will inspire you. Remember what your body is capable of and don’t dwell on what it isn’t. As a mother of a young girl, I am conscious of what I say about my body, I want her to feel confident and at peace with herself, so I consciously make sure to lead by example.

Acceptance: Know that you are the only one like you! Accepting my mistakes, learning from them and loving myself has been altering for me. Once I let go of the weight holding me down, I started to welcome love and happiness into my life. These days, I only focus on the things I can change or control rather than getting bogged down on what I can’t.

 

Rachelle Rowlings, Mum to Roman and Rumer.

PHOTO:

@rachelle.rowlings

How has the meaning of motherhood changed for you, since you’ve become one?

I don’t think you can ever understand motherhood until you’re so deep into it that you don’t remember a time before it. I never understood how much my mum did for us until now! If I were to try and describe it words would fail me, but ultimately it shifts your whole world and everything you understood of love! Love takes on a whole new meaning. 

What’s one thing you wish other mums told you before becoming one yourself?

That chaos is OK. Time goes quickly! And that you’ll repeat the words ‘No, don’t. Be gentle. Get off that’ over and over again until you get a slight twitch! 

Self-love can feel like a general term, what are some ways that you practically outwork it in your busy schedule?

I’m now a role model for two little humans, everything I do and say they take in. I always want them to see me believing in myself and appreciating this healthy body I have been blessed with and this beautiful life we’ve worked so hard for! It has to be a daily affirmation of appreciation not only your self worth but the value you have to others too! 

Erin Maxwell, Mum to Milla, Archie and Raff

PHOTO:

@ejmaxwell

How has the meaning of motherhood changed for you, since you’ve become one?

I have an amazing mum and the expectation I set for myself was that I was going to be as amazing as she is for my own kids. It’s funny, you know your mum loves you but you truly understand just how fiercely when you become a mum yourself—and also the impact that all of those special qualities and unconditional love impacts your life and how you love yourself.

I didn’t realise how my love felt to my mum, but now I get it.  I love that you are their superstar, a hero and you have the most incredible opportunity to check yourself, reflect and be the best version of yourself to give everything you have to make an impact on their lives.

What’s one thing you wish other mums told you before becoming one yourself?

I never asked, and to be honest, I don’t think I would have listened. You can’t predict or prepare for what is to come and that’s the beauty of the whole thing. We have always had a very relaxed and simple approach to parenting. Do what works for you and your life, and your babies become a part of this amazing new phase together. I think comparison and too many voices cloud your instinct and confidence.

Self-love can feel like a general term, what are some ways that you practically outwork it in your busy schedule?

I work in a creative field, and I am constantly putting myself and my work out there; so I think it’s very important to be confident and happy with what you are doing before you publish anything. If I feel happy with my work and myself, then the opinions or feedback that come after is much easier to take on.  From a physical aspect, I don’t compare myself. I wear what makes me feel amazing and the last look in the mirror is positive and that I am fab. I also think it’s fine to have down days and want to change things about you, whether it be your body or your behaviour, to find a happy place with yourself. The key is that this shouldn't be based on an ideal image or someone on Instagram, but rather aim to be at a place where when you stand in front of yourself, you love what you see. 

Lumira The Vow by Nicole Trunfio Candle ($65)

With hints of magnolia, grapefruit and sweet tobacco, you're home will easily transition into a sanctuary at first light. 

Lumira The Vow by Nicole Trunfio Perfrume Oil ($49)

Keep calm and carry your zen with you into your workday. 

For more advice head to the Lumira Journal

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