The Secret to Keeping Your New Year's Resolutions
We first met Dougall Fraser, the disarmingly accurate psychic, clairvoyant, author, and life coach, at the women's summit Pearl xChange. Nicole Richie hosted the event and introduced Fraser as one of her own personal life coaches. Through his practice, Fraser helps individuals by picking up on recurring themes in his clients' lives and holding them accountable to change.
As 2016 is quickly approaching, we thought it was the perfect time to sit down with Fraser to talk about New Year's resolutions and how to keep them. This man knows how to tap into our dreams and help us make them happen. Scroll through if you'd like help giving your resolutions staying power.
Before you make plans for the future, think about the past year. By reflecting on your life and any recurring patterns, good or bad, you can start to better navigate a path toward happiness. "While a therapist has to wait for a patient to come up to a certain perspective or divulge intimate knowledge, I, as a psychic can speed things up a bit. I can be more blunt and talk about the elements of opportunity in your life and how you can strengthen those opportunities," Fraser tells us. Try to embody your own inner life coach and reflect on all of the opportunities that you've had in the last year so that you can be more prepared to take advantage of the opportunities that will come your way in 2016.
While thinking about your goals for the future can happen at any time, Fraser does believe that there is power in the world making a collective effort to improve at the same time. "While I believe that resolutions can be started at any time," he says, "there is a power to tapping into a group consciousness around the new year. Knowing that people all over the world are resolving to better themselves around the same time can help us tap into that positive energy.
We usually start this sometime in December, and on January 1 we make vision boards that reflect our goals. I like starting the process in December, because it gives me time to really reflect on where I am and what I would like to improve upon."
Without willpower, New Year's resolutions are dead in the water. Fraser discusses how willpower is rooted in a connection to the self. "The more we love, honor, and respect our own being, the easier it is to follow through with what we want to create and achieve in our lives." In order to up our self-love and connection, Fraser advises keeping a self-gratitude list. "Keeping a self-gratitude list is not a new concept, but combining it with your resolutions can be a very useful tool. Every morning, start by listing at least five things that you are proud of achieving. No matter how small the achievement, write it down and thank your spirit for following through. It can be anything from exercising, making your bed, or calling your mother to check in on her. By doing this, you will prime your consciousness to look for the areas where you are making progress."
Everyone seems to make resolutions centered around weight and healthy. But isn't the new year a time to improve other areas of our life as well? Fraser understands the need to cleanse after the indulgence of the holidays, but he also has some wise words when it comes to what to focus your resolutions on. "I think that there is more to wellness than just the physical body. I like to think about how I want my heart and soul to feel in the next year. How do I want to feel around my friends? What kind of business goals will make me feel the most fulfilled. Overall, a powerful wellness-related resolution is to ask yourself What do I want my emotional theme to be in the next year?"
Regardless of what your resolutions are, you're bound to have slip-ups. And this is okay. In fact, it's inevitable. "Wiggle room is critical to making our resolutions stick," says Fraser. "The most important aspect to maintaining a resolution is giving ourselves permission to make mistakes. None of us are perfect, but we often place this expectation upon ourselves. This is the mind’s way of self-sabotage, and it is very subtle. The most successful people in the world are the ones who can fail, then get up and try again. But if we never try to be better, we will never know how much we are capable of."
While wiggle room is necessary, so are realistic expectations. Don't expect to overhaul your life all at once. Perhaps working out everyday, cutting out all sugar and bread, and aiming to be the latest in the office every night are not the best goals to make at the beginning of the year. Try striving for one major improvement in your life at a time.
There is no silver bullet to keep your New Year's resolutions. But the closest thing to it is to go public. "Without a doubt, telling our loved ones about our goals is the most important element to achieving them," says Fraser. "Allow your community to support you. Whether it is through social media, email, or personal interaction, declaring your intentions out loud will cement them in your mind and in the eyes of the universe." We could not agree more. Use social media if you have to. Whatever it takes, let your community hold you accountable to your goals.
Shop Dougall's must-haves for New Year's resolutions success below.
How do you stay on top of your New Year's resolutions? Share with us in the comments.