All Magnetically Confident People Have This in Common, Says Psychology

Kelsey Clark

Genuine confidence is an elusive art—one that you can pinpoint within seconds but may take an entire lifetime to outwardly manifest. But according to Elizabeth Lombardo, psychologist and author of Better Than Perfect, those with truly magnetic self-confidence have mastered one thing: unconditional self-worth, or the ability to wholeheartedly love, trust, and accept yourself regardless of the thoughts and opinions of other people.

"Unconditional self-worth occurs when you believe in yourself independent of others," explains Lombardo for Psychology Today. "[It's] believing in yourself not because of external events, but rather because of who you are on the inside. … It is based on focusing on those values, strengths, and core characteristics most important to you."

On the opposite end of the spectrum, conditional self-worth is when your personal view of yourself is based on certain pre-existing conditions, e.g., I'll be happy in life if my boss agrees with me or I'll finally be confident if I get a raise next month. In other words, it's the tendency to base your self-perception on other people's reactions, accomplishments, or standards rather than your own.

"The way you view yourself is central to every interaction you have—with other people, with every experience, even within your own head," she concludes. "When you live from a place of unconditional self-worth, you are comfortable in your own skin. You can be truly happy for others' successes without feeling they are better than you. You can hear and accept feedback without taking it as a personal attack."

For more confidence hacks, read up on the 10 daily habits of super-confident people.

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