How to Find True Love Once and for All, According to Science

Kelsey Clark
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Timur Emek/Getty Images

Some believe that finding true love is but a destiny that no amount of willing or wishing can change—but that doesn't necessarily mean you should sit back, relax, and wait for your soul mate to walk right into your life. In fact, this designation can be all the more frustrating for those actually looking for love, in defiance of the It Will happen when you least expect it advice.

In the spirit of assuming stewardship of your love life, we enlisted the sage advice of Fred Nour, a double-board-certified neurologist and author of True Love: How to Use Science to Understand Love. According to Nour, finding the right partner involves a two-part process: First, work on yourself through the use of introspection, and second, work to accept and embrace the imperfections of others.

"The most [common reason behind] being single is developing unrealistic fantasia," or conjuring a picture-perfect image of your dream partner, he writes. "We all watched fairy tales during our childhoods and have read romance novels with perfect mates doing perfect things all the time. In reality, we may not find a mate who is as perfect as we expect."

Instead, set realistic expectations by taking an objective look at yourself, both in terms of what you do right and what you do wrong in relationships. "Look back at your previous relationships and ask your relatives, best friends, and confidants for advice on what they saw was good and bad," he writes. "Oftentimes, they can see what you can't."

When it comes to dating, he cautions against over-reading people or making snap judgments. "Accept that [your date won't be perfect.] Give everybody a fair chance," he concludes. "Just as you'll expect your mate to respect and accept your separate personality, you must do the same."

How would you elaborate on Nour's advice? Share your thoughts with us below!

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