How to Tell If Your Breakup Will Last, According to a Counselor
Working through the various stages of a breakup can be nauseating. First, there's shock that it's happened, then pain for the loss of the relationship, and then possible regret—have you made the right decision?
If you're in the midst of this confusing stage and wonder if you and your ex might rekindle the relationship, licensed professional counselor Tina Gilbertson says there are telltale signs to indicate your breakup will last. These key factors "can influence your ability to break up and stay that way," she explains in an article for Psychology Today.
These five signs indicate your breakup is likely final:
1. Your friends agree with the breakup: "It's easier to stick to a breakup plan when you've got other people supporting you," she says. Surround yourself with those who agree with your decision and can remind you it's the right choice.
2. You're adept at dealing with negative emotions: "The ability to tolerate emotions is an important tool in your breakup toolkit," says Gilbertson.
3. It was a short relationship: Those who have invested years into a relationship find it harder to walk away, as they feel like they have wasted more time. "The more time, energy, or money you've already sunk into something that doesn't work out, the harder it is to walk away. You don't want to lose your 'investment.'"
4. You've started dating other people: While Gilberston notes that rebound relationships rarely last, she says that having someone new in the picture takes your focus off your ex and can help ensure the breakup lasts.
5. There's physical distance: "If the breakup coincided with a move that will keep you apart physically, the breakup has a chance to 'set.' On the other hand, seeing each other at work or in the neighbourhood creates opportunities for second thoughts and impulsive reconciliation," she explains.
Ready to start dating? Here's how to get back in the game.